Steps on how to change your life.

Are you ready to embark on a journey of change?

In life, we never stop growing but inevitably we want to be growing in a beneficial direction. We want to be transforming ourselves and bettering our life every day. It’s an ongoing process and the ultimate goal is having great relationships, contentment, peace and happiness. In the end, the path that leads to change is you making the decision you want to change and then remaining on that path.

Are you feeling stuck and unsure of which way to turn? For me, there is no worse feeling than being undecided and unsure. There are so many times where I wish I had someone, who knows it all, to just tell me what to do, which way to go and how to feel about it all. I have felt this way especially during this pandemic- I’m stuck in a yo-yo between feeling okay and petrified.

Two types of people

In theory, there are two types of people. 1. Those who read the instructions and follow the plan and 2. those who don’t read the instructions and do it their way. Those who plan and those who don’t. No condemnation for either parties, but it is important to know who you are, know how you do things and how you are programmed and wired to respond to life.

There are times when planning is crucial and following the roadmap and instructions is vitally important. How many times have you thought to yourself, ‘if only I had listened or followed the recipe/instruction manual’?

Having said this, the other is true as well: not being completely obsessed with the plan and instruction also has its place. Life happens to us and our plans get put on hold and sometimes an emergency Plan B is needed. Life has a way of doing its own thing sometimes, and we need to learn to be flexible.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t have manuals and there isn’t always a clear and perfect way to do something.

When you reach a crossroad.

Have you reached a crossroad in your life, is it time for change? Is it time to reinvent yourself? What is the question you are asking yourself and what will the outcome be? More importantly, do you ask yourself questions? Do you self-reflect or are you on the road of ‘who knows’, aimlessly going wherever it takes you? Have you noticed that you make life decisions so easily and with so little thought and yet the outcome has been massive?

Maybe you can acknowledge that you are stuck and that you need change, but not sure how to go about it…

The steps YOU need to take to change

1. Self-reflect. Take the time to look at your past. Look at the decisions you’ve made. Look at the decisions other people have made that have impacted you. Reflect on the past, remembering that it is in the past. You might want to go down the road of guilt and condemnation but really there is no point. It’s done and the best way to move forward is by apologizing to yourself, and possibly others, and learning how to do it differently in the future. It is vitally important that, as you self-reflect, you don’t compare yourself to others in the process but rather that you measure what you’ve done against yourself. Acknowledge how far you have come and focus on all the POSITIVE you have achieved too.

Reflection is a beautiful and meaningful word –

(1)the act of reflecting, as in casting back a light or heat, mirroring, or giving back or showing an image; the state of being reflected in this way.

(2)an image; representation; counterpart.

(3)a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.

(4)a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.

We need to be able to honestly reflect to know: know what happened in the past and know how to make good decisions for the future. We should also be reflecting on what has worked so that we can continue along the right paths where necessary.

2. Seek advice or help. There are 2 main ways to achieve this.

• Self-help is incredibly beneficial. It may be through spending time on yourself, in thought and meditation, or by reading books, doing courses and research in the areas you need to grow in and that need your attention.
• Seeking-help. Getting help from a professional is equally beneficial and ideally, the two should go together. A coach or a therapist has the knowledge and experience behind them: they have witnessed many other stories to help guide you in yours. We know that knowledge has power! The professional can often see the picture more clearly, without being biased and without complication. They are standing on the outside, looking in. The most beneficial aspect of therapy is the accountability you would have with the professional. Having someone keeping you accountable has more meaning and power within your brain than you may think.

In today’s world, online healthcare covers all your needs. It’s easily available, removes the stigma and shame associated with many of the available therapies, it is often more affordable and most importantly it is convenient.

The truth in it all is –

3. Making the decision to change and how to change. What is the Goal? Only you have the power; only you have the means. We know the old saying, ‘You can take the horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.’ There is so much truth in that saying; you are the only one who can change your life, who can make it happen. We have heard story after story of people that have been ‘forced’ into change and given every opportunity, only to fall back into old habits because it was not through their own willpower and strength. You are the only one who can enforce the change.

What is the end picture?

So, I ask you again… What does your story look like? What chapter are you on? Are you struggling to turn the page? Not sure how to write the next page? For each of us, the choices and story are different. The conclusion is that you can decide on your ending. Imagine it: Picture it: Act it. Think of yourself as a work in progress and always remember the end goal: a happy, fulfilled life.

You have the power; change is possible; help is available. Set the course in motion.