Meaningful and helpful advice from a therapist
Life is a journey, and there are multiple times throughout our lives that we may find ourselves needing a bit of support, guidance, and help. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, there is strength in reaching out for help. Life is difficult enough, why add extra pressure and stress when it can be halved by simply sharing it with someone?
One of the major benefits of counselling is that it offers an outsider’s perspective. This gives us the opportunity to gain insight about ourselves and our lives.
- improved communication and interpersonal skills
- greater self-acceptance and self-esteem
- ability to change self-defeating behaviours/habits
- better expression and management of emotions, including anger
- relief from depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions
- increased confidence and decision-making skills
- ability to manage stress effectively
- improved problem-solving and conflict resolution abilities
- a greater sense of self and purpose
- recognition of distorted thinking
At one or more points of your therapy journey, your therapist will say something that feels like an ‘AHA’ moment. They will say something that really resonates with you and that you carry through your life. It almost becomes somewhat of a mantra.
We asked around and searched the internet to find the best advice people have received from their therapist.
Best counselling advice
- “My therapist told me ‘Just because you have free time doesn’t mean you are available.’ I know someone else needs to hear that message today.”
- “You’re not lazy, you only have a certain amount of energy and right now you are using it all to survive.”
- “Just because you think it doesn’t mean it is true.”
- “Making up an assumption of what others might think or say is dangerous. You are creating a reality that isn’t true but yet making it real in your mind.”
- “Don’t believe everything your brain tells you.”
- “Ask yourself: is this good for me? Is it (thought, feeling, behaviour, relationship) serving you or harming you?”
- “You are in the right place. You are where you are meant to be.”
- “There will always be someone having a harder time than you but that doesn’t mean what you’re going through is any less hard. Everything is relative. Your feelings are valid. Your struggles are relevant.”
- “Can I control this situation? If the answer is ‘no’, let it go. If the answer is ‘yes’, then work on making it positive or learning from it.”
- “If it still bothers you after 24 hours, talk to someone within 48 hours.”
- “Healing is not linear. You will have bad days, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace and feed yourself kindness.”
- “Therapy is a personal journey: find what works for YOU and stick with it.”
- “What you constantly think about is what you become.”
- “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for taking care of.”
- “Stop listening to the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts). The critical judge in your head is not real.”
- “Your brain can’t be both grateful and anxious at the same time. When anxiety takes hold, look for gratitude.”
- “Take breaks from social media and understand that nobody has it all together.”
- “Just keep on trying. Always.”
- “Give yourself grace and time to heal.”
- “Be kind to yourself. Show yourself the same empathy and understanding that you would show your best friend.”
- “Stop blaming yourself for other people’s mistakes.”
- “Appreciate the season that you are in.”
- “The only real battle you are fighting is the one between perfectionism and grace.”
- “Nothing is permanent. Feelings included.”
- “It isn’t all about you. Mostly when a person reacts badly, it has more to do with an internal conflict than with you, what you did or what you said.”
- “Feel your feelings. All of them! And always trust yourself.”
- “Take your own advice. If a friend came to you with your problem, what would you tell them?”
- “Listen to and trust your gut. It is normally right.”
- “There will always be someone having a harder time than you but that doesn’t mean what you’re going through is any less hard.”
- “You live in a gray area and shouldn’t label yourself as either good or bad.”
- “You may not always have control of a situation, but you always have a choice. Even if it is just the choice of how to react. Focus on that.”
- “If you do nothing, then nothing will happen. But if you do something, then something might happen.”
- “You are not supposed to be perfect. You are a work in progress- and that is beautiful. You do not need to stress yourself over waiting for perfection.”
- “You are not what has happened to you.”
- “There is no such thing as negative or positive emotions, good or bad emotions. They are just emotions. Make friends with all of them. They can teach you something.”
- “Emotions are little messages. Listen to them.”
- “We cannot control other people’s thoughts. We cannot change other people’s behaviour.”
- “Sit with grief and allow yourself to feel it.”
- “Stop trying to be fine, and instead start being real.”
- “Nurture and love yourself in the ways you weren’t as a child.”
- “There’s never a perfect moment to have hard conversations.”
- “Setting healthy boundaries is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It is the most important step in self-care.”
- “It’s okay to experience a feeling and not have to justify to yourself why you feel that way.”
- “He used to tell me when you set unrealistic expectations for the people around you, you are only hurting yourself because you will be disappointed far more often than you would be if you expect less from others. It was honestly life changing for me because I had a whole new perception of my friends. But it’s kinda a sad realization to grasp.”
- “One big thing she mentions really often is how important it is to recognize that some people aren’t as thoughtful or empathetic as others. I shouldn’t expect the same levels from people that I am able to give.”
Words of wisdom
It is true. There are certain words of wisdom that stay with us for the rest of our lives. We only have to be willing to learn.
These are a just a few small but impactful ways or reminders that we can use to improve our mental health every day.
Getting help from a licensed mental health professional who can walk you through individual strategies that can help you is first prize. But these are certainly useful for when we may feel like we need a little extra motivation or when we are just feeling overwhelmed. Maybe one of these even gives you the little nudge you need to seek help yourself. It can be hard, but you can do hard things.
They also serve as beautiful reminders that we are not alone.
Remember, don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it.